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Meet Jim E. Brown, Manchester's hottest up and coming poet and singer/songwriter. His autobiography "Brown on Brown" is a no-holds barred romp through the streets of East Didsbury to the hills of Chorlton-cum-Hardy....and everywhere in between. Jim E. spills the beans on East Didsbury, his alcoholic years at his favorite pub Ye Olde Cock, his love of Gushers candies, his Father's Pus-filled soars and much more! Purchase of the book includes digital download of "Jim E. Brown Sings His Love Songs," a £250 value! Enjoy!
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This song is about a very emotional time in my life. About three years ago when I was 17 (in 2017) I had a massive crush on a girl at my secondary school, Barlow RC High School in East Didsbury. Her name was Rosie Roberts.
Rosie was the finest that East Didsbury had to offer. It was love at first site. She was new to Barlow RC and had transferred from CHS in Chorlton-cum-Hardy.
If only those Chorlton-cum-Hardy boys knew what they were missing out on here in East Didsbury. Rosie had it all; beauty, brains and charm. I knew she was the one for me when we sat next to each other in British History. While elderly and frail Mr. Jones prattled on about Lord Beaconsfield and William Gladstone I would pass her notes on little pieces of paper. I was too shy to tell her my true feelings, so I'd write things like "Hey" or "Hi" or "What's up?"
When she'd write back I'd get too shy to respond and ask Mr. Jones to go to the WC. He must have thought I had a bladder infection or IBS considering how much I used that bathroom. I promised myself I'd tell Rosie my true feelings one day, but I missed my opportunity. You see, Rosie's father got a job at a cracker factory in Berwick-upon-Tweed all the way in Northumberland in May of 2017 and she disappeared.
After she left I deeply regretted that I had never been honest with her about my feelings. I scrambled to find her contact information but she must have been going by an alias on Facebook...I couldn't find her. I called every cracker factory in town to see if a Mr. Roberts had started working as the foreman but to no avail. Had she lied to me? Or did her dad have a different name?
When I obsessed over Rosie it helped distract me from thoughts of my father's untimely death. I was haunted by the image of his pus-y boils. I became desperate. I had no money but I would figure out a way to get to Berwick-upon-Tweed. I could take the Transpennine Express and transfer to the CrossCountry Edinburgh. But the train to York alone would cost 30 pounds. I considered riding my bike there, but it would have taken 19 hours, which was time I didn't have. I was in love and needed to see Rosie.
I went to Coutts & Co. to find me mum. "Mum," I said. "I need a ride to Berwick-upon-Tweed."
"Berwick-upon-Tweed?" she said. "That's at least a 4 hour drive if we take the M6! Why in the world would you need to go there?"
"Mom, I'm in love."
"In Love you say? WIth who?
"Her name is Rosie Roberts and she was the most beautiful girl in all of East Didsbury!"
Mum paused.
"Look Jim E., I know what it feels like to be in love. Your father was the greatest man I've ever known and being in a loving marriage with him was the most rewarding and profound thing that has ever happened to me. I miss him every day."
I felt a pang of guilt knowing that I had been partially responsible for Dad's untimely death. How could Mom ever know that I slipped him the Ambien that caused all those pus-filled boils on his face to appear?
"It's alright Mum, you don't need to give me a ride."
"No, Jim E., I have to. Love is too important to let it slip away just because this girl moved to Berwick-upon-Tweed. Let's go. I'll drive you there right away!"
I felt guilty because poor Mum would never know my secret. But I longed for Rosie too badly.
Mum's boss Mr. Smothfeld saw her gathering her belongings. "Mrs, Brown, are you leaving early?"
"Yes Mr Smothfeld, it's a family emergency."
"I understand completely Mrs. Brown. Godspeed." He looked at me for a second, then back at my mum. He winked at her.
As we drove on M61 Mum asked all kinds of questions about Rose. What she was like, her interests, her aspirations, her family. The truth was I didn't know anything. I tried to change the subject. "So, Mr. Smothfeld seems nice." I said.
"Mr. Smothfeld and I are just friends!" she responded, shocked.
I hadn't suspected anything between Mum and Smothfeld. But her suspicious retort made me think there was something going on. I kept quiet about it.
After some time we arrived in Berwick-upon-Tweed. Now I could be reunited with my lovely Rosie! But first I needed to eat. I was famished. I had Mum drive to the McDonalds on Loaning Meadows. I was nearly broke so I ordered a Quarter Pounder but without cheese, meat, mayo, ketchup, lettuce or anything else. Just the bun for me.
First I scraped the sesame seeds off and placed them in my pocket to snack on later. Then I took a bite. That glorious bread filled me with a feeling of hope. I just knew I'd find Rosie.
But across from the McDonalds I noticed a Cineplex which was playing Thor: Raganrok. First I'd go see the film, then I'd look for Rosie.
"But I thought you wanted to find your sweetheart dear Jim E.! Not see a film!" said Mum.
After much deliberation she agreed to wait in the car while I watched Thor: Raganrok. I walked into the theater and lo and behold...there stood Rosie behind the concession stand. I walked up to her, slowly, in disbelief.
"Rosie" I said.
"Did you go to Barlow RC in East Didsbury?" she said.
"Yes..."
"Wow! What a coincidence! What brings you to Berwick-upon-Tweed?"she said
I was speechless. I didn't know what to do or what to say. My gut feeling was to run away. I darted towards the exit. Then I remembered my entire mission had been to find Rosie. And here she was. "TURN BACK AROUND!" I told myself.
With every ounce of strength in my body I willed myself back to the concession stand.
"Are you alright?" said Rosie?
I didn't know what to do or what to say. The only thing I could think of was to let her know I had just bought a bun from McDonalds. I pulled the sesame seeds from my pocket and offered them to her. "Fresh from the bun!" I said.
Rosie chuckled awkwardly. "Here, why don't you have some popcorn on me?" she said.
I watched her beautiful frame scoop a heaping pile of popped corn into a paper bag. Then she began to spritz the corn with a hot yellowed butter. She passed the bag to me and smiled. I nearly fainted. I was too nervous to say anything to her, even a thank you. Plus I'd always heard girls liked brash bullies more than gentlemen. So I didn't thank her for the corn. I just walked away.
I had never tried popcorn before and wasn't really interested in it. I dumped in the closest trashcan I could find (out of Rosie's sight).
I sat through Thor: Raganrok and unsurprisingly it was masterful as expected. I found a Fire Exit in the back of the theater so I could avoid seeing Rosie. I found Mum in the car. She was FaceTiming with Mr. Smothfeld.
My life was at a standstill. I didn't know what would happen between Rosie and I, between Mum and Smothfeld. I didn't know if anyone would ever find out I had slipped Dad the pus-y boil inducing Ambien. Or if Mark F. would ever return from Shacklebury Heights.
lyrics
I'm only 17
I have a green bean in my jeans
I'm only 17 and you're the teen girl of my dreams
When I go home at night I think of you most every night
Can't concentrate on my homework
On your Facebook page I lurk
In Biology I got a D
Cuz I know you don't love me
You're my teen fantasy
Without you I'm in agony
I know I love you, but you don't love me or maybe you do
You're one of a only a few who makes me feel this way
You're my teen fantasy
Without you I'm in agony
I know I love you, but you don't love me or maybe you do
At the movie theater
Where you work
You gave me popcorn it made me feel like a jerk
Cuz a guy should buy popcorn for his gal
But maybe one day I shall
Youre the best one in the galaxy
Life without you's a fallacy
I'll let you take all of me
Once we're in college and we're set free
I'll let you take all of me
I know I love you, but you don't love me or maybe you do
I know I love you, but you don't love me or maybe you do
You're my teen fantasy
Life without you's a fallacy
I know I love you, but you don't love me or maybe you do
You're one of a only a few who makes me feel this way
I'm too shy to ever find out so I guess forever I'll live in doubt
ButI know I love you but you don't love me or maybe you do
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